I did it...

Well, I did it! Today I walked into the school's office and told them I would not be returning next year. It was really scary for me and I am still afraid about what is to come. I don't know what I will be doing next year - but I'm excited.

The hardest part will be leaving this town. I love it here so much.

Tomorrow I decide.

Well, tomorrow is the day that I have to let my school know if I will be returning in the fall. I am still not sure what I am going to do. Each day I go back and forth between what I should do. I don't know if I will be happy if I leave as it will mean moving away from my home. If I could stay in Rosebud and leave school I would do that in a second. Unfortunately as it is a town with less than 100 people, no gas stations, only a theatre and a theatre school this is not an option.

I love living in the country - the nearest town is 25 minutes away. It is beautiful out there. Not to mention I love the Christian community that Rosebud offers. I love that I have friends there. I love swimming in the creek and just coming into peoples house because you know you are always welcome. I love my job. I love the people. I love everything about this town.

But I feel incredibly selfish for wanting to stay there. Perhaps I should just take a risk and move back to the city, move back in with my parents and start towards something I know is worthwhile.

*sighs*

I know I will be okay...

Hey anyone who is reading this - which is probably no one.

I have been thinking about my future a lot lately and what I should do with it. I just finished my second year as an acting student and I have come to the realization that I do not want to be an actor. Isn't that good to know?

I think it is. This means I am most likely going to change schools - my other option is to change majors. There are only four at my school. Acting, Dramatic Arts, Technical Theatre, and Music. While I love many of the things in those areas I don't see myself having a future in. Not at all.

This bums me out because next year is our school trip to London. I have always wanted to go to London. At the same time I know it will be okay because one day I will go to Kiev, and adopt some beautiful little boy or girl. Perhaps they haven't even been born yet. Maybe they have. Kiev is by no means London but when I ask myself which of the two is more important that answer is always Kiev. Or Russia. Or somewhere around there.

So now the question is - what do I do now?

If I had been born somewhere else...

If I had been born somewhere else…

By BrokenWithGod

About a year ago my opinion of the world changed drastically. At 19 years old I had no idea of the horrors that still existed in the world – I thought enslavement was a thing of the past. How wrong was I. It began on a Sunday morning at church. The topic of the day was human trafficking and modern slavery. I could not believe it. From that moment on I was desperate to learn as much about it as I could. I didn’t really understand what I was opening myself up to but I knew I had to go there. I searched the internet for information regarding human trafficking and sexual slavery. I got my hands on copies of “Not For Sale” and “The Natasha’s.” This lead me to child prostitution. I could not believe that children were being sold for sex – in our day and time. I learned that sometimes children do it willingly – or sometimes their parents make them do it. I was desperate to do something to stop it. So once again I searched for information.

This time I was lead to something else – something that would change my entire world. Orphans. I don’t remember where I first read about children in Eastern Europe and neighbouring countries being sent to mental institutions because they had disabilities. I came across “Reece’s Rainbow” – a website that advocates for the adoption of children with Down Syndrome and other disabilities. From there I was lead to blogs of people who are adopting these children. I was so glad to find people doing something about this. One of the first blogs I stumbled upon was “Smile’s and Trials.” She has 12 kids. Six are biological and six are adopted – and they are leaving this weekend to adopt 2 more! I was amazed by the story of this family and inspired by they passion that they have for rescuing these children.

One evening I was looking at the children on Reece’s Rainbow. I was curious about that kind of disabilities these kids had. One little boy stopped me in my tracks. Sullivan – he is on the Other Angels Boys 0-5 page. He looked a lot like me. Blond hair. Blue eyes. Then I looked over and in large red lettering it said “SIGNIFIGANT RISK, PLEASE ADOPT ME SOON!!” I began to read his medical history...and that’s where I completely fell apart. The first line read

“Sullivan was born with a very rare disorder called Arnold-Chiari Syndrome.”

I could not believe that a child was at risk of being sent away because of Arnold-Chiari Syndrome. It wasn’t just because he was going to be sent away, nor because of his beautiful face staring back at me – begging me to help him. It was the fact that I have Arnold-Chiari Syndrome. Me. I have lived with it my entire life. I get MRI’s because of it – if it weren’t for them people would have no clue that I had it. I understand that Sullivan’s case of it is worse as it effects his hip but that is no excuse to send him or any child away.

This got me thinking about what my life would be like if I had been born somewhere else in the world. Would my parents have given me up like many of the parents whose children are in these orphanages did? Would I have been sent to an institution because of my Chiari and other delays? Would I be tied to a bed all day long and drugged for my entire existence? Would I know what it’s like to feel the sun on my face and the grass beneath my feet? All these what-if’s sprang into my mind.

Since that day over a year ago I have not been able to get these children out of my mind – and I don’t want to. I know that I will adopt at least a couple of them when I am able. I so desperately want to rescue Sullivan but I am not in a position to do so. I have no money, I’m a college student, barely 21 years old, and am unmarried. (Though I don’t been to be married to adopt.) I feel so stuck. I feel like I can’t do anything to help but I desperately want to. Anyone got any suggestions? What are you doing to help?